General Papers and Research
Worth a Moment - Take a Break
Stretch - breathe - relax
When your list of things to do feels overwhelming, when an issue won't clarify or it seems that a task will never be done, it could be just the moment to stop, take a few slow deep breaths, stretch and relax.
It is when everything feels like a race, when it feels as though there simply isn't enough time, that we need to stop. Even a few minutes break can refresh and energise. Switching off and giving yourself some attention can help efficiency and make things happen more quickly.
When we have a lot to achieve in a short time, the idea that we simply do not have time to stop often takes over. This is the very moment when a short break can have the greatest effect. Focus can then be intensified, a new perspective can emerge, new ideas surface, thoughts become clearer and things
sorted out more quickly.
If there is somewhere close where you can enjoy a moment with nature this can help. It can be as simple as looking at the sky, at a tree, a flower, perhaps the leaf of an indoor plant. If not, equally effective can be closing your eyes and using your imagination to create your own picture of calm.
Before returning to the task in hand visualise it being completed...see it done.
When you do finish, be sure to reward yourself with another break where you again stretch , breathe and relax.
HRK
Worth a Moment
A Wider Perspective
Disappointment happens. It's how we process it that can make a difference.
While it is important to give ourselves time to be frustrated, upset, angry, sad and disappointed, it is equally important not to dwell for too long and become immersed in regret and negativity.
This can be easy to do as our instinct is to put things right and one way would be simply, to change the past. Often the mind keeps coming back and cycling through events.... if we could just change one thing, make a few alterations, redirect events of the past, then everything would be different, everything would be good....
But is this really true ? It is not possible to rewind and even if we could, would it actually make the difference we anticipate? However plausible, however logical they are, these are ideas in our minds, our incredibly powerful minds.
Once we allow ourselves to settle down and become calmer it is time to look ahead and recognise that the future is important to work on and actually possible to work on. Our powerful minds come into play. The past is past but has happened and often can be used to change what lies ahead. Learning from the past, putting disappointments in perspective and moving on is all part of a process that can lead to more positive outcomes. As we become more involved in creating desired scenarios in our minds for the future it is easier to take steps towards these goals.
It is important to experience the full range of our feelings and then look beyond what is currently happening and with a wider perspective focus on a positive future.
HRK
Worth a Moment - Just Have a Chat
Communication is the answer to many issues.
When there is an argument, disagreement or a worrying discovery, and we find ourselves over analysing, creating scenarios, playing out scenes in our minds or predicting the reactions and responses of others, there is a useful strategy.
That is, simply stop: Admittedly not always so simple when emotions are fired up. But it is certainly worth a moment to put up a stop sign and pause for long enough to become aware of what is happening, maybe observe the circular and debilitating nature of our thoughts and the need to take a break.
Deep breaths are good.
Stretching and whatever exercise time and place permit can really help in settling thoughts and encouraging rational decisions. Becoming immersed in a task or activity can also be invaluable.
Even making the decision to take some action to distract ourselves can take some of the weight off our minds. Never underestimate the power of the distractor…how often have we used it successfully with soothing the fractured spirit of a child who can’t pick up the dropped ice cream…. “Wow! …. was that a kangaroo leaping past the window!!!”
Further progress can be made with children and with adults, when we follow up with communication. This is especially the case when we are trying to clarify situations or interpret what others have done or said. Rather than letting our minds go wild, we can, by talking to people and being ready to listen, restore some balance.
Good things happen when we cut the chase open up and…
… just have a chat - an open, honest, relaxed chat.
HRK
Worth a Moment - The Blink of an Eye
Every hour of every day we make many decisions. It’s how we function: what we wear, what we eat, where we go, what we do… decisions, decisions, decisions.
Much of this is automatic and there simply wouldn’t be the time to ponder or even hesitate before every one of them. However, there are many occasions when we mull over ideas and want more proof or confirmation of the ‘right’ answer or correct course of action, instead of being aware of what, deep down, we already know.
Not to say that at times it is not a good thing to stop and think, to analyse and consider the options, but we do have a great resource within ourselves that we do not always tap into. Precious time can be taken labouring over questions to which we already have the answer, pondering and delaying decisions which, in fact, can be made…. in the blink of an eye!
How often have we heard: “listen to your instinct”, “go with your gut feeling”.
When something just feels right, it probably is right. When something just doesn’t feel right, there’s probably a reason to hesitate or look at options.
Test it out. Include in your repertoire of strategies, picking up on your own feelings, pausing and listening to your spontaneous reactions. If we pause and listen to what we are feeling, we may save time, angst and possibly unwanted repercussions.
Enjoy listening to your inner wisdom.
A book that explores this concept in depth is Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink.
HRK
Worth a moment - Little steps
Kaizen .....
At this time of world wide goal setting or New Year's Resolutions, it is common to be surrounded by discussion of how quickly these resolutions are 'broken' and comments such as ,'I don't make resolutions, then I can't break them'.
This is one perspective but it always strikes me as rather a pity, as a lost opportunity. Rather if seen as an opportunity for a fresh start, a chance to implement some new ideas that appeal to us or simply to put time and energy into reinvigorating some we have worked on before it can be very fulfilling. An important aspect is taking small steps towards your goal or resolutions. Seeing the journey as 'the thing', and seeing that each step brings us closer.
Goals can become more achievable if we are more patient and show recognition of even small steps in the right direction. That's not to say there won't be challenges. A lapse or step in a different direction should not be seen as failing or a reason to give up, but rather as part of a process. As the saying goes, "Rome wasn't built in a day".
Every step may not be as planned but this part of the process. It is important to show recognition and appreciation for the positive steps we take, those that move us in the right direction. It is good to pat ourselves on the back when as we take even the smallest step and see lapses as part of the journey, something to learn from. It is a positive step to eliminate from our minds attitudes such as it is pass or fail or 'one strike and you're out'.
By avoiding being judgemental and become more accepting it can be a more enjoyable journey.
Enjoy making and journeying through your resolutions.
HRK
Kaizen is a Japanese word referring to the practice of continuous improvement and the concept that big results come from many small changes accumulated over time.
Worth a Moment- Friends
Friends are precious.
Friends are amazing.
Friends are fun.
They make life more fulfilling.
Take the time to communicate, to help, to listen or simply to send some positive thoughts to your friends. Even at busy times, we can spend a few moments looking outward, being aware of others and giving.
So much is to be gained by sharing and giving as well as accepting and enjoying what comes to you. It is always two way. Offering a hand of friendship feels good at the time and so often leads to unexpected, positive outcomes. Remember.... 'A stranger is a friend you haven't met'!
Everyone has their own story, their own joys, their own issues and anxieties. Friendship means sharing in the ups and the downs, being there to share the fun and being there to support when a shoulder is needed, being sensitive to others. It doesn’t need to be momentous. It can be as simple as making a short phone call or sending a few thoughts.
As with most things the first step is in our thoughts. The decision that it is worthwhile to spend even a few moments a day on friendship is the beginning
Worth a moment - Choices
Choices
Recently I was travelling alone to places I have never before visited. Having not done this for some time, I rediscovered that feeling of being faced with many tempting choices and interesting things to do and see, but also having the ever present limitations of time, timing, money, energy and so on. Initially I wanted to...or was it that I felt I should...do it all. However, having the freedom to make whatever choices I wished, in fact it being a necessity that I make these choices myself, somehow resulted in me choosing less. It also meant exploring some of the choices in more depth, certainly more than would have been the case if travelling with others. Being fairly typical, that is, one who has been accused of doing too much, I did have to work hard to convince myself that it really is ok not to cover everything. It has felt good to limit the scope and consciously impose less demands.
Of course, this ability to choose is not limited to holidays. We all have the power to adjust, to modify, to create more balance. The realisation that one doesn't have to do it all and the observation that by reducing the list we can, in fact, often achieve more, can significantly change things. Making the decision not to be caught up with trying to deal with too much can make a difference. We hear... We read... : Keep things simple. Less is more.
I sincerely encourage you to test it out next time you are feeling the overload. Be assured, there will be something you can offload, share or simply cross off the list. Experiment with reducing the number of agenda items and observe how even a few less can mean you actually achieve more.
Not a new concept but one that can easily get lost as we scramble from day to day.
Enjoy testing it for yourself.
HRK
Worth a moment - Gratitude
Recently in a meeting the speaker asked the audience to close their eyes and spend twenty seconds thinking of the things in our lives for which we are grateful. It surprised me how many things flowed through my mind in such a short space of time. Also interesting was the impact this had, the difference it made to me. I felt good and the day flowed with a more positive focus.
One reads and hears of the importance of gratitude, of the benefits of keeping a gratitude journal; but making that happen can be a challenge. However busy our day or full the schedule is, a twenty second pause is usually manageable and can happen at any time, anywhere. The difference it makes is definitely worth the moments taken.
Becoming more aware of showing gratitude in general is positive. Being more conscious of thanking people and showing appreciation of the smaller things that happen can lift spirits. Take the time to comment, whether in person, by phone, text, email or a written note. Becoming more aware in this way and acting on it, not only helps us, but can make a difference in the day of others.
To summarise:
Whether it's the spoken word, written down or simply a silent fleeting thought
....say thanks.
HRK
Worth a Moment - Happiness - a decision?
Something definitely worth thinking about is the power of our minds, the power of thought. By becoming aware of the effect that this power can have and using our minds in positive ways we can bring about better outcomes in endless ways in endless situations.
Thought is the builder .
It is true that no item has been made, no empire built, without thought preceding it.
But beyond the physical, the mind works on emotions, builds feelings, develops atmospheres.
Consciously focusing on calm, relaxing images and thoughts has a flow-on effect.
The imagination is an amazing thing. Close your eyes and think of….a waterfall, a gentle stream, a cool rainforest, a sparkling beach, the feeling of sand between your toes, any of your favourite peaceful, enjoyable scenes. Choose your images according to whether you feel the need to calm down, feel more peaceful, more relaxed, feel brighter, happier, generally up lifted and so on.
The power of the mind is an extraordinary thing
Calling being happy or not “just a decision” may be too simplistic but there is certainly an element of truth there to be explored. So often we have a choice. Having the intention to move away from negativity and making even slight variations in your thoughts is often all that is needed.
Never underestimate the power of your own personal day to day, minute to minute, second to second thoughts. Developing an awareness of this, learning to focus your thoughts and being the director of your thoughts can truly make a difference.
The ancient Cherokee legend below is definitely worth a moment’s reading…
Happy reading, happy thinking and happy New Year.
HRK
An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life...
"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.
"One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.
"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf will win?"
The old chief simply replied,
"The one you feed."
Author Unknown
Worth a Moment - Take time to walk.
Even a short time. Incorporate it into your day.
We've all read or been told to take the stairs not the lift. From a physical fitness perspective movement is essential. We can make finding ways to increase our movement easy and fun.
As well as the physical aspect, movement and exercise can help calm the mind and sort thoughts. Often this happens without effort or without even being conscious of it. We become more aware, thoughts occur and situations can clarify. Peace and calm can result from a simple walk. Yesterday a friend took me to the Labyrinth in Centennial Park. It was well worth walking this ancient pattern on the ground and spending some time there. Half an hour or less or more...definitely worth it.
Widening the scope of this, if you plan to spend time with family or a friend include walking as part or even all of that time. Perhaps take them to the Labyrinth.
When you want to or need to communicate with someone walking often facilitates talking. As movement flows thoughts and words flow more easily. A difficult conversation can be less confronting when you are looking ahead and around as well as at the other person. Silences can be as much part of the walk as the communication.
Whether alone or with others, whether short or long, walking is a wonderful habit to develop.
Enjoy.
HRK
Worth a moment - Appreciation
The moment taken to appreciate, works in amazing ways.
Becoming more aware of other people and the positive or kind things they do and realising that there are so many moments when we can do the same is within our reach. It need not be time consuming. In fact, adopting this approach can have the reverse effect. It can create a better flow of energy within and actually create more time.
Taking even a few seconds to observe and become aware of the beauty of a natural wonder or manmade creation can lift spirits, increase energy and inspire. Notice a plant. Look at the sky. Our skies of late have been extraordinary, providing many opportunities. Not only do we feel good at the time, but it spills over into the task at hand and into whatever you are about to embark upon. It is not a matter of the length of time spent, but rather raising your awareness and becoming more open. As we become more attuned to the good in people and the beauty around us, picking up on the positive aspects of life can become a habit. We can make the choice to look and absorb and benefit.
The feelings we bring and the perspective we come from, can ease much when dealing with the negative aspects of life. While not always easy, we can take some steps to fine tune our focus.
Noticing and acknowledging, showing appreciation and gratitude is far reaching, definitely worth the moment it takes.
HRK
Worth a Moment - The Master Plan - Making Things Happen
We all have tasks that need attending to, but for one reason or another seem too difficult, overwhelming, too much to tackle. Unfortunately the longer we delay, the harder it becomes to start. The task itself becomes even more daunting as we procrastinate. And possibly the worst part - time and energy are consumed as we repeatedly postpone beginning. To compound things, often angst heightens when urgency and fear of not completing enter the equation.
When we spend time agonising, struggling with thoughts, finding creative, and sometimes not so creative, excuses for delaying, precious energy is sapped. Time is wasted. Time that could be spent achieving at least a small part of our goal. Productive use of time does the reverse. Even a very small beginning is a positive move which engenders good feelings and a sense of satisfaction. Once the first step is taken, stress reduces, the burden lightens and the task ahead is less daunting.
To bring about a significant change we can first take a simple positive step. Make some notes. Spend some time planning a structured approach. Break the task into smaller more manageable pieces that are less demanding and less time consuming.Taking the practical step of setting out your plan is a small, but positive move that can yield good results. A list of what needs to happen and a timetable for completing manageable sections each day or possibly every second day depending on the time available is invaluable. Smaller, less threatening sections soon add up. Of course it will still require discipline and effort, but the feeling of achievement that accompanies finishing the designated parts is further motivation to move on and complete. With a flexible plan, the process can be accelerated or slowed down and, providing we keep track and update our program to ensure that the overall goal can be accomplished in the required time frame.
Take the plunge.
Start.
Try this approach and see how planning can change our perspective and make tasks less challenging, less threatening and more easily managed.
Enjoy experimenting.
HRK
Worth a Moment - Letting Go
Moving house: the perfect time to practise letting go of possessions.
Any one travelling even with only one suitcase, will probably tell you that their one suitcase held so much more than they needed. How this is magnified when moving house! - particularly when it is a move involving a lot of changes.
In an extraordinary 6 months I have experienced both extensive travel and a move from a very large space to a very small one. In many ways the travel was quite a wakeup call, highlighting how little we really do need on a day to day basis. Seeing a variety of people with differing values in a wide range of circumstances raised many questions. What do we need? What is important for survival, for existence, for happiness, for fulfilment? Not for a moment am I suggesting that it is or could be or should be the same for everyone, but it is worth thinking about. It was a good experience having these questions arise and stopping to think and reassess. Viewing things from a fresh perspective has definitely made letting possessions go a lot easier. Emotional attachment to things and people can be very tough to overcome, but once decisions are made and action taken, the feeling of lightness and relief is amazing. Letting go physically and emotionally has rewards. Of course the two are often interlinked and when we most need to let something go it can seems most difficult.
But given the results can be so liberating, energising and invigorating, why wait until you are moving house or making a dramatic change to work on reassessing and changing set ideas and adopting a new outlook? Whether something major or minor, test run “letting go” today.
HRK
Worth a Moment - Draw Back Your Spirit
This is an expression used in the book, A Course in Miracles, by Helen Schucman and Kenneth Wapnick. It gives us a strategy to help let go of negative thoughts and feelings that we are holding onto and that may be dominating our minds.
By thinking again and again about people or situations that annoy, anger or make us sad, we are giving a strength and a power to those thoughts and in turn to the people involved. By holding onto these thoughts they can begin to hold onto us, to control us. Directing anger towards someone is expending our energy and time. Our energy, strength and general vitality can be sapped because we are literally giving it away, sending it to another person or situation.
When we become aware that this is happening and conscious of the effect it is having, we can begin to reverse it by taking a moment to focus on our own strength and spirit and consciously draw them back. Long deep breaths will also help the process. Being upset or angry often causes our breathing to become shorter and shallower. Breathing deeply and instructing ourselves by repeating the words, "Draw Back Your Spirit", has helped me become more settled many times. It doesn't require a lot of time but does need awareness.
Recently a friend said two simple words to me : "Be mindful".
It really helped. The more we can come back to mindfulness and the more aware we are, the more often we can consciously draw back our spirits, feel more peaceful and calm each day and deal more effectively with what is happening now.
HRK
Worth a Moment - Pause
The holidays: a welcome respite, joyful times, chaos, angst, generally all of the above.
Definitely a time when things are different and the balance can tip in various directions in the wink of an eye. The ever present challenge is to tip it in a good direction. Often this can be achieved by the smallest shift in thinking, by picking up on a really simple idea or remembering something we have heard that just makes sense.
‘Look before you leap’, is an old expression. Rephrasing this as, ‘pause before you leap’, can save a lot of angst. The school holidays with all the joy and challenge present the perfect arena to practise this skill.
At this time of year there is always more to do. Overwhelmed is a word used more often. My simple suggestion is:
Pause. Pause before rushing in headlong. Pause and collect your thoughts, your energy, your calm. There will still be much to do, but if you pause for a moment to collect yourself and adjust your perspective, it can assume more manageable proportions and happen more easily.
Every day is going to be full of thoughts and actions. It is how we function. Something often underestimated is our power as the designers, the decision makers. What we do, how we do it and to varying extents the resulting effects are directed by us. Pause and recognise your incredible strength, influence and power.
We have choices. We can pause and do things consciously or act without thinking, without a pause, barrelling through the day with knee-jerk responses. We are given many valuable ideas: how important it is to be present, to be in the moment, to be centred, to be grounded. Whatever we aim to do and however we see the process, there is a common need … you guessed it … the need to pause. Your personal way of following through will differ, but simply remembering to pause can be enough to prompt a happier outcome, enough to trigger a better result.
It is not complicated nor time consuming. In fact, time is often saved. At every turn, we can act or react. It is our choice. Of course, each day we shall do both. But consciously pausing more often, can make more things flow more freely.
Consider your key player. As you pause, consider you. Recognise that often it does need to be ‘all about you’. This is a good thing. You are important. Be gentle, less demanding. Avoid self-judgement and self-criticism. There are other people who may choose to judge you and this is not necessarily under your control. The one person you are in control of is you. So be very firm about being kind to yourself. Pause.
As with most things, it is easier said than done. However, as with most things, practising helps, often surprisingly quickly.
Remember, hit the pause button…. often.
HRK
Worth a Moment- Letting Go
Letting go is often difficult. Whether it's about people, possessions or thoughts, and even when we know it is needed, we often struggle with the decision and delay acting on our best instincts. But when we do act it can be an amazing catalyst. Just making the decision reduces stress and then acting on it opens up space in so many ways. Whether the letting go is physical or mental, it is accompanied by a good feeling, a lighter feeling. The tension eases and is replaced by space to think more clearly. The tightness in your chest that often accompanies the decision making process lessens and breathing itself becomes an easier process.
Moving house usually forces us to reduce physical clutter, something with which many people struggle. I am currently in the middle of this process and with rather a short period of time left am making a lot of quick decisions. I have moved many times but usually to somewhere of a similar size. This time it is smaller and a lot more needs to be discarded. Recent travels have reinforced how little we really do need and how many things we hold onto but rarely, if ever, use. The time frame, the need to reduce the volume of things and the realisation that life will be simpler with less, have all made a dramatic difference.
But not as dramatic as the resulting feelings described above when I do make the hard calls.
What I anticipated as the hardest move yet has become, dare I say, easy....well easier!
Bite the bullet, just do it, make the hard calls. We have all heard these words. But when your instincts tell you it's the thing to do, I do urge you to try to follow up, test it out and feel the results. Let go of what you know in your heart is just not needed.
Enjoy following your inner prompts.
If you are feeling exhausted, overworked, stressed or simply too busy. It’s time to renew your energy, so you don’t fall into a hole and become sick. As the saying goes ‘a stitch in time, saves nine’ so to be healthy renew your energy today and maintain it regularly.
HRK
Worth a Moment
Recently I was travelling alone to places I have never before visited.
Having not done this for some time, I rediscovered that feeling of being faced with many tempting choices and interesting things to do and see, but also having the ever present limitations of time, timing, money, energy and so on. Initially I wanted to...or was it that I felt I should...do it all. However, having the freedom to make whatever choices I wished, in fact it being a necessity that I make these choices myself, somehow resulted in me choosing less. It also meant exploring some of the choices in more depth, certainly more than would have been the case if travelling with others. As one who is often accused of trying to do too much, I did have to work hard to convince myself that it really is ok not to cover everything. It has felt good to limit the scope and consciously impose less demands.
Of course, this ability to choose is not limited to holidays. We all have the power to adjust, to modify, to create more balance. The realisation that one doesn't have to do it all and the observation that by reducing the list we can, in fact, often achieve more, can significantly change things. Making the decision not to be caught up with trying to deal with too much can make a difference. We hear... We read... : Keep things simple. Less is more.
I sincerely encourage you to test it out next time you are feeling the overload. Be assured, there will be something you can offload, share or simply cross off the list. Experiment with reducing the number of agenda items and observe how even a few less can mean you actually achieve more.
Not a new concept but one that can easily get lost as we scramble from day to day.
Enjoy testing it for yourself.
HRK
Worth a Moment - It doesn't matter.
Recently when I was heading off on a trip, a friend said to me, "Just remember one thing. Whatever happens.....it doesn't matter!" Seeing the puzzled look on my face, she continued.
"Well, if you miss a plane, it doesn't matter. If you lose a bag, it doesn't matter. Too many people let a mishap, often something relatively minor, ruin a trip and it's just not worth it. You are going to relax and enjoy. Don't let hiccups change that. So many people complain and react about so much. Entire holidays can be ruined this way."
Fortunately I did not miss the flight or lose a bag, but on the first day there were minor things that happened, things forgotten or mistaken. Cathy's words came back to me and it really made sense not to become worked up. It was extraordinary how quickly things settled into place and worked themselves out, once I adopted the "It doesn't matter" response.
Of course it is not the same as saying, "I don't care". That is quite different. I did care but by recalling the simple response, "It doesn't matter", I did find that often there was an immediate change in approach and results.
Applying this idea more broadly on a day to day basis can be very helpful. As the events of each day unfold there are sure to be opportunities for you to practise being aware that there is more than one response to any situation. If you use this as a calming mechanism it can help keep perspective and help you see things for what they are.
Things happen. The less angst we experience as we move through them the better and the more happily we can move on.
Have fun practicing!
HRK
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